hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
