I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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