Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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