I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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