They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
