If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
