WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
