The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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