im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
