I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
