It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Randomize
