How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
