You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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