i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
The Olympian is in my bed
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
