You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
