i wish starbucks made bloody marys
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
