Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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