and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
D3 body, D1 cock
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
