D3 body, D1 cock
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
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We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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