On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Can you bring me the toilet please
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I wear drunk well.
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