i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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