If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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