ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
