We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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