FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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