He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
