The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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