You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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