I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
