why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I still have a little drunk in my system
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
