I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
