my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Randomize
