Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Randomize
