I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
birth control should be required to get into college
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
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