I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize