Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
