Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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