i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
