Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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