Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
