my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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