shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
