my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
