Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Randomize
