She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
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