Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
