omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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