So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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