i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Randomize
