i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
