Its about making memories worth repressing
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
