carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
