We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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