So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I will pee on everything he values.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
