in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
