I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
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She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
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It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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